Photo by Artak Petrosyan
My Childhood/Nightmare
It was hard
to be strong and not hate you,
since you robbed us from peace and happiness
Oftentimes in my heart, there was emptiness,
and I blamed you
Straight into your eyes, I said the forbidden words,
“Dad, you should not have brought us into this world,”
if you take away the one thing
people crave when only responsibility life brings
A perfect childhood could soothe the hurts that bind,
I used to think, and begged, sometimes demanded
But you were lost and couldn’t be found,
still, I remember your struggle before it all ended
I was afraid for you and hoped that you stay
on this side of truth and prevail
The fire burned, and the darkness yearned as I,
to be free
Now I say good-bye,
sorrow fills my heart with sadness
Your life completed, yet derailed,
since your death with every year passing,
I remember less of the times when you failed
Now I know how joy can fill one’s days and whole being
and I no longer need to live in the past,
my painful childhood transformed me
to be a blessing,
safely in the Lord’s hand, I can rest
and be my best
Published online in March 2020 by The Scarlet Leaf Review
The Author
E. Izabelle Cassandra Alexander was born and raised in a little village in Hungary and now resides in Des Plaines, Illinois. She’s a single mother, nature and animal lover. She writes short stories, creative nonfiction essays, flash fiction, plays, and poetry, currently working on a few novels and a series of children's books along with illustrations.
Her work has been published in Spark, 2016, 2018, 2019, and 2020, in the Illinois State Poetry Society’s (ISPS) Anthology, Distilled Lives, Volume 4, 2018, and on the ISPS website, 2017-2019, in Yearning to be Free by The Moonstone Art Center, 2019, by The Scarlet Leaf in 2018 & 2020, by WOW! Women on Writing, 2019 & 2020, by The Book Smuggler's Den, 2019, Tint Journal, 2020, Unlimited Literature, 2020, Ariel's Dream, 2020, Pages & Spine, 2020, Beautiful Words by Ariel Publishing, 2020, and more.
She won several Honorable Mentions and Runner Up status with her flash fiction and creative nonfiction essays entered into contests. An interview was published by WOW in The Muffin (an online blog: https://muffin.wow-womenonwriting.com/) on January 14th, 2020.
You can find some of her work on her website at izabelle2012.wixsite.com/izabelle and on Patreon at www.patreon.com/IzabelleAlexander and connect with her by visiting her page at fb.me/E.IzabelleAlexander on Facebook.
E. Izabelle Cassandra Alexander, IL
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